I am not going to fill out my profile....I am evolving so I won't set myself in a box for now...all y'all can decide for yourselves and I will do the same.
Well given our facebook culture I had given up on blogging - as the old way of doing but being the person of many many many words that I am and with the encouragement of a friend, I have decided to go back to the blogging side of things. I have created this new blog (my old one is Je Suis) I feel that I am starting a new chapter and someone told me I was too depressing in my old blog - I am still processing that comment.
Well today I am munching on a freshly baked banana muffin (baked by moi) and drinking a hot cup of coffee and feeling like hmmmm what is around the cornor? Well the first thing I run into is that I do not know how to spell cornor....that is a place to start. I cannot spell - I am one of those people that if you carefully checked my resume you might find an error. What does my inability to spell tell you? That I am careless, that I don't pay attention to detail - perhaps I am not educated?
I am educated, I am quite intelligent even - I do pay attention to detail- what it is- I am dyslexic. this impacts not only my ability to spell but my ability to see the error - I read the word on the page and it appears correct to me - I cannot see the error. Usually the misspelled words are common every day words...anyway this is something that defines me.
In university I did not know about dyslexia and did not know that is what made me the way I was - I just found a way to cope. When I would be writing an exam I would write in a messy manner so you could not really tell how I spelled the word. My exams were like those emails that go around that have the words all garbled up but you can still read them. So I am a messy writer - I developed this skill to cover up my inability to spell again something that defines me.
On Oprah ( you will find this phrase many many many times in the course of my blogs - deal with it!) on Friday they had a financial expert on who went into a woman's home and saw it messy, dirty dishes etc and proclaimed that her house (and her financial situation) was a mess because that was how she was on the inside, mentally - a mess - cluttered. I asked myself as I looked around my cluttered messy house still in my pajamas - is that true of me - is my house a reflection of my mind and heart? Is my messy writing, my inability to always catch my spelling errors, my verbose nature a reflection of a chaotic person?
Right now my answer is no- I choose to spend my time differently then other people. I would rather sit down and work on a puzzle with my daughter then make sure the kitchen floor is spotless (with four kids the floor is never clean for long) I would rather read a book or watch a movie and fill my soul with thoughts then make sure that my bed is made. I would rather spend two hours cooking something delicious then making sure my cupboards are organized.
What do you think? Am I making excuses? I wonder what Oprah would say to me?
Sunday, January 20, 2008
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