The Agony and Ecstasy of Shopping

Well I have been shopping and I was able to purchase some items that make me feel pretty and sexy and some that make me feel powerful. But the process I went through to get these things was Agony. Two full days of looking at my hubbles and bubbles, lumps and bumps whilst I tried on 25 shirts or pants until I found a pair that fit.... Walking into a store seeing something very pretty and realizing that those things can not be found in the plus section of the store - that is reserved for large print moomoos and ridiculous looking shirts that are really bags with no style. I have a friend that commented that it is like the people who make these clothes are saying, you are fat and don't deserve to have anything pretty to wear, those clothes are for the chosen size 0-12, your clothes are over HERE on this side!

All be it that I do see that I need to be a good steward with the body that I have been given, that I need to find a way to take care of myself but in the mean time I and others like me do deserve to feel dignified and pretty even though we committed sins of over indulgence. I don't think you will ever find some one with weight issues who are not aware of their weight issues, they do not need to be reminded.

So the agony of living in this body that is so amazing that is was able to grow and bare four children but that I seem to not be able to take care of properly is there but there was ecstasy as well, through the help of good friends who would say - no that is hideous or yes - that is perfect, I also achieved a degree of love for this body.... People of the world.....there is beauty from the ashes!