I am not going to fill out my profile....I am evolving so I won't set myself in a box for now...all y'all can decide for yourselves and I will do the same.
Well given our facebook culture I had given up on blogging - as the old way of doing but being the person of many many many words that I am and with the encouragement of a friend, I have decided to go back to the blogging side of things. I have created this new blog (my old one is Je Suis) I feel that I am starting a new chapter and someone told me I was too depressing in my old blog - I am still processing that comment.
Well today I am munching on a freshly baked banana muffin (baked by moi) and drinking a hot cup of coffee and feeling like hmmmm what is around the cornor? Well the first thing I run into is that I do not know how to spell cornor....that is a place to start. I cannot spell - I am one of those people that if you carefully checked my resume you might find an error. What does my inability to spell tell you? That I am careless, that I don't pay attention to detail - perhaps I am not educated?
I am educated, I am quite intelligent even - I do pay attention to detail- what it is- I am dyslexic. this impacts not only my ability to spell but my ability to see the error - I read the word on the page and it appears correct to me - I cannot see the error. Usually the misspelled words are common every day words...anyway this is something that defines me.
In university I did not know about dyslexia and did not know that is what made me the way I was - I just found a way to cope. When I would be writing an exam I would write in a messy manner so you could not really tell how I spelled the word. My exams were like those emails that go around that have the words all garbled up but you can still read them. So I am a messy writer - I developed this skill to cover up my inability to spell again something that defines me.
On Oprah ( you will find this phrase many many many times in the course of my blogs - deal with it!) on Friday they had a financial expert on who went into a woman's home and saw it messy, dirty dishes etc and proclaimed that her house (and her financial situation) was a mess because that was how she was on the inside, mentally - a mess - cluttered. I asked myself as I looked around my cluttered messy house still in my pajamas - is that true of me - is my house a reflection of my mind and heart? Is my messy writing, my inability to always catch my spelling errors, my verbose nature a reflection of a chaotic person?
Right now my answer is no- I choose to spend my time differently then other people. I would rather sit down and work on a puzzle with my daughter then make sure the kitchen floor is spotless (with four kids the floor is never clean for long) I would rather read a book or watch a movie and fill my soul with thoughts then make sure that my bed is made. I would rather spend two hours cooking something delicious then making sure my cupboards are organized.
What do you think? Am I making excuses? I wonder what Oprah would say to me?
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3 comments:
No, you are not making excuses. Or, maybe they are excused, but so be it. There is nothing wrong with you making your own priorities. People make choices and priorities all the time. Choices and priorities that is right for YOU and YOURS.
Kids grow so fast and time spent is so precious. One thing is for sure, they will be more likely to remember (and appreciate) the time you spent with them making puzzles, than the times you washed the floors.
Is a messy house equivalent to a messy personal economy? I’m sure in some case, but not necessarily all.
Ya, Oprah has no kids and a fleet of staff and assistants to keep her organized, her house clean, etc., etc... I think you choose how you spend your time and live with your decision... Be strong!
Embrace the controlled chaos - for that is what it is. As much as you acknowledge that things are a 'mess', keep in mind that you, Tim, Kia, Juliette, Delia, and soon, Holly, placed those items in their place. Is this a subconscious ordering of things in your home? Is there perhaps more purpose than non-purpose?
Things have their rightful place where the rightful owner damn-well puts them. If and when you are ready for a change of sceneria, you'll tidy/replace/move/etc. Rather than our worlds being static and everything in their rightful place, we should feel more free to let our homes be as eclectic and shapeshifting as is life. After all, if the rigid life is what certain people seek, then they aren't interested in experiencing life - simply a controlled, safe, and filtered-version that best fits their ideal.
Is that really living? I hardly think so.
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